Walking the Wall

There is a commercial for some kind of cell phone/mp3 player that I just love–there is a guy walking down the street with headphones on, he’s just walking calmly along, but his shadow is completely dancing like a madman. That’s how I felt today. I had to drive up to school for a meeting and it was just one of those perfect Michigan, Autumn days (no wonder Hemingway sat in Paris and wrote about Michigan, what’s not to love?). The sky was crystal clear blue, the leaves are just turning to perfection, and driving past pale cream cornfields rimmed with woods of every gorgeous Fall color is enough to make me want to dance as well. I had my iPod playing my "feel like a little rock" playlist full blast and life just felt good. After parking, I walked through the campus and every time I saw my shadow, I felt certain she was going to take off and dance a wild jig. Well, I didn’t catch my shadow dancing, but I did catch a picture of my favorite tree that I pass every time I go to class, and while she wasn’t dancing either, she was dressed up just gorgeous in greens and oranges and reds–who needs to dance when you look that beautiful?

What was on my playlist?

All the Things You Said by T.A.T.U

B*** by Meredith Brooks

Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day

Everything You Want by Vertical Horizon

Bring Me To Life & My Immortal by Evanescence

Higher by Creed

Flood by Jars of Clay

Hanging by a Moment by Lifehouse

Zombie by The Cranberries

Why Don’t You and I by Santana

How You Remind Me by Nickelback

Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down

Lean On Me by Club Nouveau

I had an interesting dream sometime in the last few weeks, about the Meredith Brooks song (which I had to have played at least three times in a row today while people driving by watched my shadow and shook their collective heads). I really love this song because it captures the idea that people can’t be sectioned off into labels, that we really are "a little bit of everything, all rolled into one"–great song. Anyway, I was at my own funeral, which should be a bit creepy, but it really wasn’t. I’m glad to report that there was a full house and once the atypical funeral things were done with, my sister walked up to the front with a video tape and said I had asked her to play the video if I died, and that she had not seen it yet. So she put in the video and up on a big screen this song started to play with photos cycling through to the music, starting with me as a baby and little girl, then bam, the chorus starts and there I am on the big screen dancing like the wacky guy on the commercial and singing along to the song. The dream pans back where I can see the people as well as the screen and, let me tell you, there are some shocked faces (I have a great deal of relatives who would be quite horrified with this song, let alone me up on a screen dancing and singing to it–at my funeral no less), and a good deal of grins as well. The song continues on with pictures cycling through during the verses and me dancing and singing with wild abandon during the chorus’–near the later part of the song/show my sister starts to dance, then a friend, then my other two sisters, and my other close friends. One interesting thing is that the pictures that were cycling through the video were actual photos, which I thought was great.

It was certainly one for the hall of fame, and the thing is, I wasn’t left with a feeling of sadness or loss when I woke up. It was a dream that left me with a good feeling, like I went out of life just how I wanted to, just dancing on to the next stage in a journey. I plan to go out dancing, and I hope to go out like this lovely tree, clothed in greens and oranges and reds, clothed in a life well lived.