Walking the Wall

We have friends who have a beautiful son with Downs Syndrome and once when we were talking, his mother told me that he was truly a gift. So when I saw the newest Speaking of Faith podcast was about Jean Vanier and the wisdom that he has learned from those marginalized by mental handicaps I was eager to listen to it. There is also another even more powerful podcast on his organization L’arche called A Community of Brokenness and Beauty–absolutely worth taking the time to listen to–one quote from Henri Nouwen who wrote Adam: God’s Beloved:

“Before this I had come to believe that what makes us human is our minds, but Adam keeps showing me that what makes us human is our heart, the center of our being where God has hidden trust, hope and love. Whoever sees in Adam merely a burden to society misses the sacred mystery that Adam is fully capable of receiving and giving love. He is fully human–not half human, not nearly human, but fully, completely human because he is all heart. The longer I stay with Adam, the more clearly I see him as a gentle teacher, teaching me what no book or professor ever could.” )

The founder Vanier’s voice exudes this gentleness, his peace, wisdom and calm reminds me very much of Thich Nhat Hanh’s voice. He writes:

“As I touched the fragility and pain of people with mental handicaps, and as their trust in me grew, new springs of tenderness welled up in me. I loved them, and was happy with them. They awakened part of my being that had been under-developed, dormant. Through them, a new world began to open up for me, not the world of efficiency, competition, success and power, but the world of the heart, of vulnerability and communion. They were leading me on a path towards healing and wholeness.”

Tippet, the host of Speaking of Faith, writes in her journal that “he never set out to change the world. He follows Gandhi’s good advice, he tells me, that none of us can change the world; what we can change is ourselves”. It reminds me of Mother Theresa’s saying we cannot do great things in life, but only small things with great love.

Vanier believes that people have such difficulty dealing with the imperfect because they remind themselves of their own pain and brokenness that is simply on the inside, rather than the outside. They can teach us how to become human, how to treat ourselves and others with tenderness and compassion and unconditional love.

My son, Michael, sometimes has struggled with this idea of not being perfect, of his body being broken and not working right. I remember when Michael was young and I struggled with all the “whys” and found the section in the Bible where there was a blind man and the people around Jesus asked him who sinned, his father or his mother that he was born blind. Jesus responded that neither did but he was born to show the glory of God. Some people said that he was born so that Jesus could heal him and show the glory of God–but while that might be an aspect of the story–I think the truth is that those who are “broken” can truly shine with the divine more brightly even than those who seem perfect. My son, like my friend’s son, truly are gifts. What he teaches me and others around us about strength and patience, gentleness and compassion, beauty and sweetness is priceless.

I’ve always said that I was so wonderfully gifted with both of my children because what they have most taught me is such a balance–my son taught me to treasure every fragile moment in life and my daughter taught me to live it out loud–beautifully and fully.