Walking the Wall

As I said before, March was completely hectic and overwhelming, by the end of it I was starting to get that drowning feeling that comes with having an unbalanced, crazy schedule. Monday I had the wonderful feeling of my head breaking out of the water and getting the first real gasp of air and then the serenity of floating on the top. It was warm (72 degrees F) and sunny and we spent the day outside or in our three season porch getting it cleaned up and ready to enjoy on the next lovely day that blows our way–the whole day was an excersize in meditation and meditation had been about non-existent last month! Not this month, the chaos of last month and some unsettling health issues with my son this week have shown me how much I need and miss the centering that meditation brings to me. I did remember to do Thich Nhat Hanh’s smiling meditation whenever I realized how tense I was and how tight my breathing was:

Breathing in, I calm my body.
Breathing out, I smile.
Breathing in, there is only the present moment.
Breathing out, it is a wonderful moment.

I am sure there were people passing me on the road or walking to class who really wondered at my deep breathing and ridiculous smile. Still, “Our smile affirms our awareness and determination to live in peace and joy” (TNH). Not to mention a ridiculous smile is probably better than the ridiculous dancing and singing I’m usually doing while driving.

Speaking of singing and dancing, I’ve had my iPod Touch for a month now and I still love it completely–there really isn’t anything I don’t like about it. I’m looking forward to the software upgrade in June that will allow it to use third party programs (I’d like a word processor) and have games not dependent on a wi-fi connection. I have to say, though, that I’m nearly always close to one wi-fi spot or another and can pretty well check my email whenever I want throughout the day. The only problem I’ve had with it is the video capability. I thought I’d never use the video aspect of it–well, three seasons of Farscape later, I have to concede that I love the video capability a little too much. That, combined with the crazy month, combined with school has made it a little slow reading month–time to chop down my “currently reading” list to make room for summer reading. In an effort to cut down that list, I went to the bookstore last night.

Going to the bookstore for me is a very zen experience, I love to just walk through and run my fingers across the spines of books, browse through all the nick knacks, grab a cup of tea, and completely zone down. I walked out with some sticky arrows (love them), a zipper bag for receipts and such that is recycled from a rice bag, and another Thich Nhat Hanh book (albeit its a little one!): For a Future to be Possible. This is a great little book that just focuses on the five mindfulness trainings which are the basic statement of ethics and morality in Buddhism (here is the shorthand version, you can read TNH’s longer versions here):

1. I am committed to cultivating compassion and learning ways to protect the lives of all beings.
2. I am committed to cultivating loving kindness and learning ways to work for the well being of all.
3. I am committed to cultivating sexual responsibility and learning ways to protect the safety and integrity of individuals, couples, families, and society.
4. I am committed to cultivating loving speech and deep listening in order to bring joy and happiness to others and relieve others of their suffering.
5. I am committed to cultivating good health, both physically and mentally, for myself, my family, and my society by practicing mindful eating, drinking, and consuming.

Anyway, so far a great book to throw in my purse and snatch bits of reading on. I need to focus on #5!